Society today has a lot of expectations of young women to be well knowledgeable about sex. Whether it is for the first time, a new partner, or exploring new boundaries in your sex life, as a young woman, you may be feeling anxious and nervous about the first time as you do not know what to expect. It is okay as most people have similar feelings the first time. Therefore, there are some things you should know about sex to make you comfortable with your partner. For instance, it is okay not to be straight, anal play is common, you can research more about it, and communication is vital. Below are more things every young woman needs to know about sex before their first time.
Forget what you see on Television
TV movies give unrealistic expectations when it comes to having sex as a young adult. Yet, we forget this is acting, and they need to look good on camera. And they have a procedure on how they should do it. It is always a straight couple, having orgasms at the same time in a dim candle-lit setting. Unfortunately, in real life, this is not how it happens for most people, at least. If it is your first time, it can feel messy, awkward, nerve-wrecking, and if it is a new partner or the same, it is different in its own right. Although sex is fun, don’t be blindfolded with TV scenes of how it should be.
Communicate everything with your partner
Communication is vital when it comes to sex. Communicate your desires, needs, and wants with your partner for you to have good sex. This should also include the contraception you want to use, your expectations, and concerns. Anal sex is common, but if you are not comfortable with it, let your partner know as well. Similarly, if you want to try it communicate this to them. Depending on the type of relationship you are in, whether casual or serious. You can draw a line of what you want to experience with them. Communication will help you open up what is important to you.
Take the pressure off having an orgasm
Orgasms feel good but do not pressure yourself into having one. In fact, according to studies, it is a challenge for most women of penile-vaginal sex to reach orgasm. For this reason, enjoy other things about sex, like the pleasurable experience of connecting with your partner and take the pressure off having an orgasm. Make yourself comfortable, and as you continue communicating, you can achieve the different types of orgasms available. No matter what happens, do not fake your orgasms. It is your first time, and use the time to enjoy yourself.
Having sex does not change you
Virginity is a social construct. Before and after you have sex for the first time, you are the same person. Due to human interaction, people believe sex makes us lose our purity, making us different. The myths, pressures, and expectations surrounding sex are products of ideas and norms created by humans through socialization. Therefore, having sex when you are ready will not change the person in you, and it is no one’s business.
Don’t worry about your appearance
This Instagram selfie-obsessed society causes many people to hold poor thoughts about their self-image. Thus, it affects how fulfilling your sex life will be if you adhere to it. So, focus on how you are feeling and not how you are looking. For first-timers, it should be about enjoying the sensations and exploring what is pleasurable to both of you.
You might or might not bleed
Most women’s expectation when they have sex for the first time is that they will bleed profusely. Thus, when no bleeding happens, most are surprised. Some will bleed, and some will not, and either is normal. Also, the hymen is not to blame as every woman is different. For those who bleed, it may be the hymen was tight, or they were tense, too dry, not sexually aroused, causing minor raptures and hence the bleed. Avoid focusing on bleeding the first time. It can or not happen.