Absolutely shocking. The actress, speaker and author of the book The Monster, Ingrid Falaise, addresses, with amazing generosity, a topic too often you; domestic violence. She delivered before a packed audience of women but also some men, at a conference at UQAC Wednesday night.
His message is simple; anyone can fall into the clutches of a manipulative and violent man. And his testimony can not leave anyone indifferent.
“I am 18 years old. I was tall, blond and had confidence in me raring to go. I was not vulnerable. How come a girl like me could be driven there? I am living proof that anyone can become a victim of a narcissistic man, manipulative and violent, “has said from the outset Ingrid Falaise, who was the guest of the local consultation panel on violence women and adolescent girls to Chicoutimi. The tickets had flown away like hot cakes. And there was a queue at the entrance, made up of people who were hoping to get a little square.
The subject is difficult to tackle. “I’m always nervous before my lectures. I do not play, I’m not an actress when I talk about my experiences. It’s so personal. But I need to do and I know now that so many women experience what I experienced. If I could change something in the life of one of those women is my reward, “said the lady, shortly before the start of the conference.
The Story of Ingrid Cliff is known. Its passage to the show Tout le monde en parle, after the publication of his book The Monster, had also been noticed. She tells how she fell into the cycle of domestic violence at the age of 18. She does not name her attacker. She calls Mr.
Mr. manipulator, M. for the first letter of his first name, he for the first letter of his last name, to Mr. monster.
Making use of seduction and his “magical aura”, as she calls it, Mr. has been isolated. He managed, over weeks and months, to destroy her confidence. Mr. turned it off. And he went to bring it to Africa, where physical violence began after months of humiliation and verbal abuse.
He nicknamed the “whore.” He kept captive at home, the hurting emotionally, physically and sexually. Mr. broke his ribs, fractured his nose. She also keeps a small bump. “His warrior hump”, the nickname she.
The question that comes to everyone’s lips? Why she stayed so long with him? “I was so tired of me asking this question! The cycle of domestic violence is so complex. We stay because we are afraid. So scary. These are men who know how to handle. The first time he hit me, he returned crying like a lamb. We want so much to believe. And we believe them. It was also ashamed, because they are able to make us believe that it is our fault. They destroy our confidence gradually. It did not start overnight with a punch in the face. It starts quietly, surreptitiously and insidiously. They isolate us, make us feel like less than nothing, “says Ingrid Falaise. “I really thought I was the only one in the world to live it. And I thought it was I who had awakened the monster in him, “said the lady, fighting back tears.
She left three times before returning. The fourth was good.
Is it grows back, wings? She questions during his lecture. “Yes, it repels. But it takes time. And even if physical violence is wrong is that verbal violence is rooted most deeply and leaves tracks long, “says one who finally found love. “I’m happy as ever. I walk head high and know that no one will ever hurt me, “says that we could see, among others, in Virginia and The Five.
The 220 people present Wednesday night religiously listened to the story of Ingrid Falaise. When she asked people if there were victims of domestic violence or have been in the room, most of the spectators raised their hands. A lady left the room, because the emotion was obviously too strong.
Do not judge
How to help a woman or a man, victim of domestic violence? “You have to listen, be there for her or for him. Above all, do not judge. My grandmother once asked me: ” You’re going back to beat you? ”. This is the last thing to say to a victim of domestic violence. It was so afraid to leave because we know that if we miss our flight, we will eat in a whole, “says Ingrid Falaise, which is finally output after years of work and therapy.
“On average, victims leave 14 times before this is good,” says Ingrid Falaise.