— And at me the friend one recently offended, you know? — complains to me by my friend Katka. — Asked me to borrow money, and I had to turn her down — yet not close friends, and I did not dare to give money.
And she is offended? — I ask.
Not quite. I have a week in the Dominican Republic went to rest, a photo posted on social networks, well she saw them and wrote me a reproachful message that I told her the money is not borrowed, and itself the rest went to an expensive resort, explained Katya. — Now kind of embarrassing in front of her. Well, I now have to hide my life from everyone?!
— No, of course. Your friend is a very arrogant person. Must be uncomfortable for her, for sticking his nose in your purse, not you — I calmed a friend.
With me kinda a similar story. A friend, with whom I almost never spoke, suddenly called and asked to borrow money, the loan should be cancelled immediately, and the salary was delayed. Foreign credits is not my concern, and I told her, of course, refused. About the episode immediately forgot.
After some time she wrote me in Vkontakte: “the Mask over 5,000 bought, and I was told that there is no money”. And I for a couple of days before Instagram posted a photo of a good face mask, which really cost about 5 thousand rubles. My friend this picture I saw and decided that I, having money, had the mask not afford to buy, and she was in debt to give.
Such stories are not uncommon. There are individuals who are absolutely normal feeling, when you climb take other people’s money. And by some miracle manage to evoke in many people a sense of guilt and embarrassment because they spent THEIR money as they wanted. Although uncomfortable must feel the one who asks for money, and not the one who has asked.
Unfortunately, in our age of rampant availability of loans to people are extremely irresponsible attitude to money — and to his own, and to others, so the reluctance to lend of the right and left justified and completely normal.
No one should feel guilty for not wanting to give their money to other people, even for a time. And any attempt to blame or shame should be viewed as aggression and immediately stopped.
People here often like to sit on the neck and indignant when they fight back. Do not be afraid to say no. In the end, if you earned the money, only you decide how to dispose of them.
But if you are too polite to refuse someone a loan, but deep down don’t want to give money, just say do not borrow for religious reasons. You will immediately fall behind.