Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on October 3, 2018

Jokes for a good mood on October 3, 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 3 жовтня 2018 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

***

We all charge to be born, to learn, to marry, to heal, to die.

Free only allowed to work.

***

Boring… I have company… a small oil company.

***

Blonde changes the map in the Bank.

The statement came to the column “Reason for exchange”. She said:

– Write: “enter pin code incorrectly three times.”

The blonde says: “enter pin code incorrectly entered the pin code incorrectly entered the pin code wrong”

***

Foreign correspondents are interviewed by the Siberian.

– As you are in Siberia with housing?

Man:

– Well in Siberia with housing. A lot of wood. Ruby as they want, and build towers.

– As you are in Siberia with food?

– Well in Siberia with food. A lot of forests, beasts in them uncounted. Overwhelm, say, elk. Let us make the dumplings. You can eat!

– As you are in Siberia with the clothes? – Well in Siberia with clothes. I told the beast a lot. Sable, marten and beavers. Shay yourself a fur coat and walk like a Lord.

– Could you name any negative aspects of life in Siberia?

– Cold, cold dudeeeee us at least a little bit of warmth.

***

It is accepted that women live longer than men.

This is quite natural, because no woman would jump into a snowdrift from the third floor because “Serge promised a case of beer!”

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***

And why I was not born at once beautiful? Not painted would never…

– Would then have to shave every day.

***

Came grandfather and a woman at the airport. Suited to the pilot.

Grandfather says:

– Son, my grandmother so many years live, but never flown. Rentals.

The pilot responds:

– Well, go. But under one condition. If you scream from fear – you pay me 100 bucks, right?

He agreed the old man.

Soared. As the pilot began to do all sorts of pirouettes in the air and a loop, roll to one side, plummeting down and all that – but the old silent as a fish. The pilot is tired, he landed the plane and asked the old:

– Tell me, grandfather, but there was a moment when you almost cried?

Was.

– What?

When the old woman had…

***

A man in a crowded theater lobby:

– I just lost a wallet with 1000 dollars in it!

I give 100 dollars to anyone who will return it to me!

Another voice in the crowd:

– I give 200 dollars to anyone who will return it to me!

***

Played with son in the horse.

Rolled him on the neck until I hit my pinky on the bedside table.

This great rider tears with me, asks:

“Horse, you hurt a lot?

Much.

– Roll with me can’t anymore?

– You can’t.

– Sorry. Gonna have to shoot”

***

– Fishing going?

Yeah!

– Rods will take?

– Well, they still lose!!!

***

To be happy, just need to remove from your soul three feelings: greed, envy and jealousy.

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***

– What further from the Moon or Kiev?

– Don’t bother me!

Come to the window. Month see?

– See

A Kiev?

***

Girls, grow up, stop looking for a man that will solve your problems.

Looking for someone who would not will to create them.

***

After thirty years an unmarried woman is not just in search, she lies in wait.

***

It is known that man grows up to 25 years.

After 25 years my body said:

– Well, can not up, but look how much space on the sides.

***

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