Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on October 13, 2018

Jokes for a good mood on October 13, 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 13 жовтня 2018 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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– How to get acquainted in Internet with girl?
– Take her somewhere. For example, the website of a good restaurant.

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Wife vacationing in the South husband, sends a telegram:
Don’t forget that you’re married!
Through the day comes the answer:
Sorry, but the telegram was too late.

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– Go yesterday with the boys in the tavern, itsanti such taxis and asks: “Guys, what are we going to order?”, And I take it and lyapni: “Girls!”.
– What?
That that’s… had to eat!

***

Mankind has finally learned to control the weather. In the heat of as soon as someone buys the air conditioning, the next day cold and raining.

In winter, the frost just starting to remove the snow, then warmer.

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Jewish woman complains to her friends on her Russian husband:
– It is time for me to have so much blood he drank, that he already was half-Jewish.

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In the river faced two of the swimmer.
– Sorry, all around in bathing suits, and You in a black suit, hat…
Because all the swimming and I’m drowning.

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– Right hand, please. Where are you so hurry?
– I have a girl in labor! I’m fleeing the country!
– Follow me! I’ll turn on the siren!

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The mosquito is a small woodpecker.

***

Sometimes I think that all sorts of great things made people who did not want to write a diploma…

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When I went in a down jacket, but with the money, the consultants I didn’t even notice, had to look for myself.

Bought a fur coat, now, when I go to the store, a lot of consultants there, but the money is already there.

***

Mother-in-law called her son-in-law-General said, that moved him to live.

Son-in-law was delighted, but on the road it was suddenly drafted into the army.

***

Is a geologist with a gun and meet him two Chukchi dragged by the tail of a huge walrus. geologist:
– So you take it for the fangs, it will be easier!
Chukchi undertake the fangs and then draw a walrus, one says:
Smart, however, the hunter!
– However, he’s smart, ago we came to the sea!

***

– Are you already married?
Yes.
– Well and how?
– As a child. Don’t stay out late. With a strange uncle do not say.

***

People always believe in miracles, especially when clicks on the ATM button “balance Inquiry”.

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– Hello friend, how are you?
– Yes here, are going on vacation!
– On holiday or with your wife?

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– SMA, you play the trombone?
– Of course.
– Sure, what?
– Of course not, but the father – Yes!
Is that so?
– Also not playing.

***

Student to practice with the test results of another patient walked into the office of his mentor:
– Alexey Ivanovich, what diagnosis you put on this patient?
– It all depends on its solvency!

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Psychiatrist:
– Doctor, I live on the first floor and it seems to me that drivers of cars look to my bedroom! What would you recommend for me?
– Osets higher, but not above the ninth floor – where pilots look!

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Go to the doctor to hear the disease is called, and then read about it on the Internet.

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After the surgery, the doctor tells the patient:
– I’ll send to you for the night nurse.
Patient, almost to herself.
– The doctor, maybe next time I have today, everything hurts!

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If your sandwich is falling down black caviar, so life is good.

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The son, well, it’s immoral to look for a life partner with the help of a computer!
– Father, how are you and mom meet?
– I’m fine, I cards won it!

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If electronic cigarettes are for those who want to quit Smoking, then electronic books for those who want to quit reading?

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It is only in melodramas at the end a man appears and solves all the problems.
In life is exactly the opposite: a man appears in the beginning. And that all the problems begin.

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If a woman is successful, attractive and happy with life – it means someone’s out for revenge.

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Was found and a new Russian student.
Student complains:
– Not enough money, fast – last 3 days hadn’t eaten anything!
New Russian:
– Well, brother, get it!

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On the exam:
‘Well, young man, show me your knowledge.
– Professor, why with all the money.

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