Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on October, 10, 2018

Jokes for a good mood on October 10, 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 10 жовтня 2018 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

***

– Doctor write me the strongest sleeping pill!
– Man, why is it you, if you up in the morning at the bar?
– For my wife!

***

– SMA, are you Jewish?
– Sho sho-what happened?

***

Blonde:
– From childhood dream to become a fashion model, they know everything, they are happy, they are all jealous!
Brunette:
– Well do not tell, I here them and they, cake, dumplings!

***

Abraham looks out the window and says:
– Sarah, our guests got into a taxi and went, let’s eat!

***

Announcement:
– A neat young man with a wife will remove an inexpensive apartment on the outskirts of the city, in the center not to offer, there lives my mother-in-law!

***

– Abram, your wrist nice watch, where did you buy it?
– My father it for me before his death sold!

***

Sent animals turtle for cigarettes, she crawled a week back and asks:
– And to take with filter or without filter?

***

A walk in the kindergarten, the boy gives the girl a piece of candy. And says:
And when we’re older, will you marry me?
– Marry, if you’ll give me money for gas and not going every week to buy new shoes!

***

– Honey, can I again go to the South alone?
– Sure, honey, I’m with both horns!

***

Wives are like cars, new less denied.

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***

Instructor:
– Suppose you ride the bus. And here the bus comes to a senior rank. Your actions?
Soldier:
– Vitligo from the bus.

***

In 16 years he lived near the driving school, winter, dark early.

Get on the bus with a young girl just at the stop of the driving school, and inadvertently listening to her loud conversation on the phone:
– Hey, mom, well, didn’t.

Why? The night is dark, the pedals are not visible.

***

Drunk man walking down the street. Slips, falls, touches a soft spot, and whispers in horror:
It broke, split in half!

***

Talking to Russian and American neighbors.
American:
– We have great neighbors! Come, ask something, and so you about a life question, and in behalf of your not refuse. And you have neighbors?
– We will come to a neighbor for salt, and get drunk.

***

– What is needed for happiness a poor Jew?
– The poor Jews, did not happen, and those poor people should not think they are Jews sho.

***

On Deribasovskaya is a Jewish mother and is the hand of two boys.
They are greeted by a friend:
– Hello, Sarah Abramovna! What a cute baby! And how old are they?
– Gynecologist six, and the lawyer is four.

***

– Why blondes do not give a lunch break?
– Because it is too long to teach them again.

***

At that time, yet men, being boys, playing war games and cars, women, being girls, immediately prepared to manipulate people and play with dolls.

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***

Met a woman, without which it is impossible to live, but to live it is impossible!

***

My mother-in-law is still a good woman, the money helped to buy the car, the children he helps to raise, the apartment gave way. Still, one flaw she has.
– What?
– Mother-in-law she is!

***

– What are the options women choose shampoo?
– Mark, efficiency, smell, composition, color, quality, packaging design, recommendations, reviews, advertising, publicity.
– And on what settings men choose shampoo?
– The label should be written “shampoo”.

***

On one of the streets of Odessa, a young man overtakes the old Jew. Old shouts after him:
– You’re not in the Laundry, young man?
Yes.
Come on will…

***

Odessa. Privoz. Sausage number.
– Male! Shaw, you an hour walk, try and take nothing?! You sho, still nothing like?
– Like!
– Sho, no money?!
– There!
– Well, buy it!
Why?
– To eat!
– I sho do?

***

In North Korea there is no Internet to give people not learned that rice is only a side dish.

***

The boy asks his father:
– Dad, what is stone age?
– In the stone age axes, knives, all people were made of stone!
And computers were made of stone?

***

Tell me, please, and where you sewed your costume?
In Paris.
Is far away from Odessa?
– About 10 thousand kilometers.
– See this wilderness, and how to sew!

***

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