Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on 7 October 2018

Jokes for a good mood on October 7, 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 7 жовтня 2018 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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The announcement in the workshop: “Working without gloves is forbidden! A fine of 380 volts!”.

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– Why you jump on one foot?
Sorry, I’m just out of the tram…

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Better to be a lover of another man’s wife than with someone else’s husband’s mistress.

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For the government the most harmful relic of the past – retired.

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– The less you know the better you sleep.
– I’m surprised you even Wake up.

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Sit two killers in ambush. One the second.
– Here he goes with his widow.

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For bad behavior the patient was operated again…

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And in the courtyard children were playing. Everyone in the smartphone.

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Participants in the series, the Students are not handed over session, and appeared in the episode “Soldiers”.

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– Comrade major, I brought you a report on the vacation!
– Put on the table!

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A good snack even iced tea go with a Bang.

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Leaving on a business trip, his wife said in jest that the bedroom DVR.

Arrived, and the kitchen table is broken.

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– Look, on the TV show your ex wife!
– So this box never shows!

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The wife calls the husband:
– Where are you?
– You forgot, I’m fishing!
– Yes, I remember, look, if pike will be expensive, better buy the carp.

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If your husband lover smiles slyly at the meeting, and warmly shakes your hand, then on the next date you are guaranteed to hear the phrase, “Honey, I’m finally free. Will you marry me?”.

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Two men talk.
– What are you doing tomorrow?
– Go with my son to fly a kite. And you?
– I have the same thing. Going with my son to see my mother-in-law to the airport.

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Moldovan says to his wife:
Let’s put the potatoes in the night.
– And why at night?
– The Colorado beetle will not know where she is.

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– Chukchi, you know, your wife walks!
– And let him walk. She is warmly dressed.

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– Doctor, my wife stutters!
– All the time?
– No, you – only when talking!

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Only in our country, a pedestrian standing at the crosswalk, thanked the driver, who stopped to let it pass.

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The guy at the pet store asked:
– You have parrots there?
– No, take of the woodpecker!
And he is able to speak?
– So, in Morse code!

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Scientists have proven that parrots that live in those people who drink, well versed in politics and sports.

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There are two traffic COP with radar.
– Oh, someone is coming really fast!
What’s the speed?
– Twenty dollars.

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– Stepan, you plate clean or bathe?
– Andrei, of course clean!
– Step as the soup, I cooked?
Delicious, and what’s the difference between clean and washed the plate?
– Washed the plate I was washing, and clean the cat licked!

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– Sopocko that You suffer so much, forcing yourself to diet?!

Go to the dentist – vdlt teeth, coat them with varnish, install veneers.

And already You will be sorry to have these teeth!

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Wife comes home from the store, gets out of the bag two bottles of vodka, six cans of beer and two loaves of bread. man:
– Are we doing!
– No.
– Then why the hell do we need two loaves?

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– Son, don’t run your Internet, dinner on the table, sit down to eat!
– Mom, Yes, coming, now, in five minutes!
– Son, the soup will get cold, go to eat!
The son goes to the kitchen, and the mother sits at the computer with the words:
– Wilt, lad!

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